Be Your Own Life Coach: Part 1
At the heart of any life coaching journey is the desire to grow as an individual: to show up in the world as the best version of ourselves and to live a life that brings balance, purpose and joy. What that life looks like will be different for each and every one of us, but whatever our goals are we can all benefit from some support when it comes to being our own life coach.
One of the first things to think about as you set out on any coaching journey is your values; the things which are important to you and which influence how you live. The deep-rooted values which drive you, either consciously or unconsciously, are there to guide you at times of change and transformation: they are your very own life coach. Often, when you have tough decisions to make and you’re struggling with the choices in front of you, it’s your values that finally give you the clarity you need. Your values tell you who you are and who you want to be.
Let’s look at a quick example:
You’ve been offered a promotion which brings a significant pay rise and a faster route into further promotions down the line however, it comes with a lot more responsibility, involves travelling more frequently and means any spare time you have will be spent doing further study. You don’t know what to do.
Your top 3 values might be financial security, hard work and success in which case the choice would be fairly straight forward; the opportunity aligns well with the things which you prioritise. However, if your top 3 values are family, health and belonging then the decision might not be so simple. Less time around the people you love, higher stress levels and more time away from home wouldn’t align so well with the things that matter most to you.
Realistically though, our values aren’t quite as straight forward - they often overlap resulting in internal conflict. What if financial security and family were equally important to you, the first supporting the second? What compromises and sacrifices are you willing to make? Values also change as we go through life with experiences, people and personal circumstances influencing the things we choose to care about most at any given time. Having a family changes how we see the world and what matters to us. So does a health scare, a job loss, or a holiday which opens our eyes to the wider world. Both the good and the bad in our lives shape what we choose to do next.
You can access lists of personal values on the internet which offer hundreds of options however, extensive lists can be confusing so to help you start the process take a look at this initial list of suggested personal values .
1. Select the top 10 values from the list which you believe best represent who you are (you might pick all 4 in one section and one from every other – there’s no right or wrong here) Check out some of the on-line lists for inspiration if need be or add any of your own values not listed here to your top 10 choices.
2. Once you’ve selected 10 values, you’re going to dig a bit deeper and reduce that list to 5. This is where it gets challenging. For example, is loyalty more important to you than justice? Is success more important than happiness? It’s time to get really honest with yourself because you need to know what drives and motivates you at the deepest level right now to move forward in your life.
3. Once you have chosen your 5 values write them down and keep them close. When you’re faced with any decisions that aren’t easy get that list out and look at your values. Let them guide you. They will become your internal compass.
4. Remember it’s worth doing this exercise regularly because your values will change based on what’s happening in your life.
5. As a quick check and balance, reflect on your values every once in a while, and ask yourself if you are truly living them.
