I have always been a feeder. As soon as I could toddle safely and carry a plate without tipping it I was up and off with those biscuits when Mum’s friends came over. It was the most important job I could think to do: feed people. Sometimes whether they wanted it or not. Either way, there was never any biscuit left behind.
Fortunately, I grew to be much more in tune with what people actually did want and need when it came to food and my offerings became a little less clumsy. I baked and cooked at every opportunity, whether to make someone feel special with the gift of a cake or to fix the world’s ills with a pot of homemade soup. Whatever the occasion, I was your girl.
As soon as I realised that I could spark joy with a pretty plate of food or make people feel better with the right dish at the right time I knew that cooking and baking would always play a big part in my life. It was my thing. And of course I’m not alone in that. Food is a universal language which transcends demographics: it’s how we extend hospitality, express love and nurture each other. As an integral part of our identity and culture the sharing of food is central to how we connect with each other. Whether sharing a celebratory feast or offering tea and sympathy, food brings us together at all the most important moments in our lives.
It’s in our commonalities that we find empathy and so as humans we relate to each other when it comes to the shared joy of a favourite food, a memorable meal or a hearty feed when we’re hungry: it’s something we all have in common. Through the ages and across the globe communities have come together at times of scarcity and at times of plenty to share food stores and harvests which can be both life saving and life affirming. Beyond mere sustenance, when we bring food to one another we acknowledge the importance of each other’s life and wellbeing and in doing so we say loud and clear, ‘you matter.’ For that reason alone, food has always, since the earliest of times, been revered as the ultimate gift and expression of love.
So much of our history is wrapped up in food; it is woven through the story of our lives. Family traditions pass from generation to generation not just for the love of that long held Christmas cake recipe but because we want to hold tight to the memories infused in every slice. We remember the meals in the life changing moments; the wedding feast, the funeral breakfast, the big birthday buffet and the hot apple crumble with ladles of custard just hours giving birth (the happiest meal of my life). We talk about food long after it’s gone too: that cinnamon roll in Copenhagen, the pizza in Sorrento, those charcuterie boards in Bordeaux... It’s not the food alone we bring to mind though, it’s the associated feelings. Comfort, joy, love, nostalgia - they can all reverberate through the years to find us in the smell of freshly baked bread or the taste of exotic spices.
It really doesn’t matter if we’re breaking a biscuit in two or dining in a Michelin star restaurant, it’s the act of sharing the experience that is so fundamentally human. I can't think of a more honest way to express love and nurture connection with the people around me than to give the gift of food and so I believe I will always be a feeder, always carrying that plate of biscuits with purpose. It’s how I say ‘you matter.’
