The Power of Connections
When it comes to investing in our own longevity, we tend to focus mainly on our physical wellbeing. It’s a focus which starts for most of us in the middle years with the stark realisation that there are more years behind us than there are in front of us. Far from being a morbid thought though, it’s a powerful driver for change: we are faced with the reality of having to work a bit harder to hold on to the good health which will allow us to live a full, productive life for as long as possible.
For those of us in the middle years you know how it goes. Suddenly we shift our diet a little, avoiding the things which might raise out cholesterol levels. We get our blood pressure checked more frequently and we consider taking medications or supplements to keep us strong and well. It’s not as easy and effortless as it used to be and protecting heart, brain and skeletal health becomes our top priority. The question is though, should that be our priority?
According to psychiatrist Dr. Robert Waldinger, co-author of The Good Life and fourth director of the Harvard Study of Adult Development (a study which tracked the lives of hundreds of Americans for over 8o years), the data around health and happiness in our senior years highlighted something which surprised the researchers themselves. It turns out from this longest running human experiment of its kind that contrary to what we might believe, the predictors we should look at in our middle years, which will inform the quality of our senior years, are not in fact our blood pressure readings or cholesterol levels but the quality of our relationships. That’s right: the number one insight from the research is that strong social connections and close relationships (quality not quantity) are crucial for our wellbeing at any time but most importantly as we get older.
So why is this the case? As Dr. Waldinger explains:
"Loneliness kills. It’s as powerful as smoking or alcoholism… Social connections are as important to our long-term health as diet and exercise."
The research showed that positive relationships regulate our nervous systems which in turn protects us against the many stresses we face in our lives. Relationships are quite literally our stress regulators which delay and reduce mental and physical decline.
It’s not the first time the power of connections has been highlighted in lifestyle studies. In the Netflix documentary Blue Zones, Dan Buettner visited five unique communities around the world to discover the secret to living to 100. In all of the communities featured in the study elderly residents thrived, by far outliving their peers in other countries and regions and enjoying a significantly more rewarding life in their later years. Four common features were identified in each of the blue zones which contributed to longevity: moving naturally (walking, gardening, swimming etc), outlook (faith, a strong sense of purpose and mindset), eating well (a predominantly plant-based diet, occasional wine and a mindset of moderation when it comes to consumption) and of course connections (family first, partnerships and having the right tribe around you) What stands out in the documentary is the importance placed on elders in the communities: they are valued, cared for and respected for their wisdom and ongoing contribution. That sense of belonging, it turns out, is priceless when it comes to our wellbeing.
What does this all mean for us? Researchers are quick to point out that relationships and connections are just one part of the puzzle. We do have to keep an eye on all the things which contribute to good health such as diet, exercise and sleep in addition to the more holistic wellbeing indicators highlighted in both of the above studies. However, when it comes to connections the message is clear: we need to actively cultivate relationships across our lifetime, not by accident but rather with intention, in order to reap the rewards in our senior years. So pick up that phone, join that club and make time for the people who matter. Your older self will thank you.
*This article was first published in Ayrshire Magazine